Where is the State of Your Relationship?



It can feel like it can take a whole lifetime to find that one person you feel you can trust, depend on and support – that one very special person you not only want to be there alongside you, but desire to live your whole life with – the one you truly love and way back then – truly adored.


Once upon a time, it felt like the best thing you had every done; being in a relationship with this person. However, over time as things really begin to settle into every day living, a multitude of things start to perhaps eat away at was once there and so precious.


Each party in the relationship perhaps begins to discover, experience and see the other person like they have never done before, and sometimes, it can or might feel like you really don’t know this person anymore.


More often than not, this begins when the ‘honeymoon’ period is over and you are more likely to want to tear your hair out than have your heart flutter with joy at the sight of your partner. Sometimes during a time of conflict – there just doesn’t seem to be any rational sense to any of what goes on behind closed doors and you at times feel like you just don’t know what to do anymore.


The State of Your Relationship



Of course, many couples experience a range of issues and life events (significant or not), and for some couples they can ride the waves of difficult times, but for some, something changes inside you and nothing is the same anymore. What is most important to remember at this point, is that many couples face difficulties and with commitment, motivation to explore, reflect and the willingness to be open about where your responsibilities lie within the conflict – change and positive experiences are possible.


However, if you feel like any of the below (and you feel like you are struggling to see a way forward)

  • Confused

  • Lonely and hurt

  • Unheard and misunderstood

  • Alone

  • Angry

  • Frustrated

  • Uncared for or neglected

  • Experiencing feelings that lead to want to stay away from one another rather than be drawn to one another

  • Intolerant

  • Conflict is adding to the bank of experiences more than the positive ones

  • Feeling like it is better to be alone or apart than be together to share and have fun

  • You can hardly remember feeling loved, supported and an element of warmth

  • If in a sexual relationship, you hardly have sex anymore

  • You just cannot seem to communicate with one another anymore, you can’t open your mouth or do anything without getting it wrong


… then Couple Counselling can support you in a safe, secure and non-judgmental environment to explore the source of your conflict and work out the patterns of your negative interactions so that you can build a more open and trusting relationship again.



Author: Michelle Barratt

           Clinical Psychologist





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Michelle Barratt is a Fellow of the Clinical College at the Australian Psychological Society.